yes, but I don't really think that it's because I'm an INTJ.

My family moved around a lot as I was growing up -- 12 times in the first 18 years of my life. We're talking complete relocation in the sense that you go to a new school, church, etc and have to form all new friendships and ties each time. At first, kids bounce back quickly from these things, but after a few times of being uprooted like that you just kind of lose the ability to recover completely. I really don't know how to reach out and make new friends any more.
When I am being introduced to new people in my church, or parents of my kids' classmates, etc. I will be polite and smiling and say all the right things but on the inside I am thinking, "Yeah, whatever. I will forget your name in about 10 minutes. Who really cares? It's all just BS anyway, you'll either move or I will, so why go to all the trouble of trying?"
OTOH, my family has become very important to me as a result and I am very intimate with them. It's just hard to open up to "newcomers".

Yes. Heh.

My mother, actually, moved a lot (as in every 6 months) when she was growing up b/c her dad was very tempermental and got fired or quit alot. I don't know how much of her experiences with people and making friends rubbed off on me.

I'm so glad I found this site. It's so nice to know I'm not a freak and there are actually other people I see eye to eye with for a change.

Physical intimacy, nope. Emotional intimacy, I may have an issue or two according to my significant other.

I have issues with intimacy. I never really credited that to my INTJness until recently. I thought I was just insecure and didn't trust people. I used to think that it was just a matter of maturity and that the older I got the easier it would be to lay my heart on the line. But it doesn't get any easier. I find I really need to be understood. That's very important to me. When things get really emotional, I get really rational. I used to think that was a defense mechanism that I needed to get rid of. But now I know there's nothing wrong with my defense mechanism because it is simply my way of coping. It's not fair to ask someone to give up the only thing that makes them feel safe.

I find that men often adore my INTJ qualities initially, but then expect me to be more of the stereotypical female later. I'd be interested in knowing if other INTJ females have had similar experiences.

I am in the INTJ category and I have real problems with intimacy. More than the rest of you it's likely.

It's not that I fear intimacy.... I just don't fell a need for it. I rarely connect with anyone in this world and over time I have adjusted very comfortably to this type of life.

I would say, if anyone has ever read the book 'The Watchmen' (not the film which is shit) and knows the character Walter Kovacs aka Rorschach...

Well basically, I am a lot like this guy but without the psychotic tendencies (would never harm animals at least). It's strange and slightly disconcerting to realise I connected with this graphic novel character more than any other person I have ever met.

Yes, I do and to a ridiculous extent. I have a very deep fear of letting people into my life; it's impossible for me to maintain friendships (close ones anyway) because I push people away. Something about having people get too close to me makes me feel sick (yes, physically). I could almost say that I am literally allergic to friendship! :) I think it's partly because I am afraid that people will ruin my life if I let them become too close, doesn't that sound paranoid!? :p However, I don't have this problem with my family as I'm very close to all of them. I am engaged also, and I've never felt that way about my boyfriend, he's one of the few people that I can really trust.

Intimacy sucks. I won't even go there. I will say; however, that oddly enough I have tended to attract ESFP's. At best, I attract extraverts and perceivers. Anyway, I am not sure I am interested in being with extraverts indefinitely; moreover, the perceivers are starting to get on my nerves with their lack of punctuality. I have been doing some serious thinking, and I am beginning to think (debate) whether or not I would be better suited with another introverted intuitive? I have been talking to someone, and I believe she's an INFJ or ISFJ (I need help figuring it out; anyone willing?) ;) and we seem to hit it off pretty well. Rather, we connect. Connection is pretty important to me since I find it difficult. I used to not find it difficult, or at least I don't remember it being this difficult; however, it has now been a huge burden for me, and I am continually frustrated by relationships. I just don't have time for the immaturity. I undoubtedly keep attracting extroverted perceivers who are anything BUT reliable. It drives me NUTS!

Anyway, fears of intimacy run rampant in my life... however, I think surrounding myself with J's make it easier :) However, J's lack the spontaneity that I need :( It's difficult being an INTJ.

I have a fear of intimacy because I'm a perfectionist. I paint pictures of what people are supposed to be, and then reality threatens to destroy them, so I pull away to make sure my painting doesn't get wrecked. I'm scared of reality, and so I am scared of intimacy.

Hm, could explain a lot...*sigh* I care about an INTJ but I guess I pushed too hard...stupid INFJness. Now I just got shut out and there's nothing I can do.